Parenting An Adolescent – The Truth About Parenting Teenagers

There was no course you could have taken to help in parenting an adolescent. It's one of those stages in a parent's life where they'll both grow as an individual and suffer through some of the greatest frustrations of their lives.

Adolescents or teenagers are a race unto themselves. It's a great time of change for both adult and child and one which can go either one of two ways - remain mutually gratifying for both parties or, worst case scenario; it can go awry.

When children hit their teenager years they begin to develop independence and with this comes the resulting clash of opinion with their parents. Yes, parenting an adolescentshould be a rewarding emotional experience for a parent but how they handle it will determine what sort of relationship they enjoy with their children in later years.

This is a time when grudges can be manifested and in many cases, they can continue regrettably for many, many years.

Changes In A Child's Make Up

One of the first signs of change in a child is their emotional state and well-being. It happens a couple of years earlier in girls than boys, and the emotions are different. Boys tend to become aggressive while girls are more prone to expressing their emotions through crying.

Their emotions are open to change and out of control. Hormonal issues, new social pressures, and changes in cognition all combine to create emotional soup. It confuses the child, and more often than not, they don't know how to handle it.

This is when they need you as a parent but how you handle it is crucial. Give them extra grace and empathy, and you can also teach them how to manage strong emotions. For instance, you might teach your 13 year-old boy to go for a run when he’s angry, or you might teach your 14 year-old daughter to monitor her cycles and decrease stress on the days before her period.

Sexual Activity

Physically, adolescents biggest change comes in the area of sexual interest. Boys begin to notice girls and vice versa but not in an innocent way. It's got to be tough for a parent to accept this but it's a transition you need to not only be understanding of but you need to play your part in getting them through it.

Adolescents are usually physically mature enough for sex a few years before they are emotionally mature enough for it, and that creates problems. They have all these raging hormones driving them toward sexuality in a highly sexualized culture…and they don’t know what to do with any of it.

One of the best suggestions for parents is to not ignore or hide the fact they are experiencing sexual urges but to discuss it openly with them. Be frank and honest about it and point out the pitfalls they could encounter such as pregnancy and disease.

You also need to keep the lines of communication open for them. This means you have to be able to hear things you don’t want to hear, and to listen with respect and without judgment.

Social Influence

When a child reaches it's teenage years the influence of it's parents are not as important as those of it's peers. This is a delicate time for both child and parent. Children in their adolescent years seem to respect the judgment of their peers more than their parents.

Is your child being guided in the wrong direction? Probably but in many cases there is little you can do about it other than being confrontational and this is a dangerous practice. Your role here is to be more of a guide and remain open with your child; parenting an adolescent means adopting new skills as a parent.