Practical Parenting: Using The Word “because”

Bringing up a child is certainly not easy. There will be so many times when you wish your kid had come with an owner’s manual. After all each one is a one-off special. It is very challenging but you should never forget the wondrous rewards great parenting brings.

Bringing up a child is without a shadow of doubt the most important job you will ever undertake. You want to make it a successful one.

Kids are naturally inquisitive. When they are younger, it’s usually because they want to find out about something. When they are older, it's most likely because they want to have a better understanding of why you think something is important and why they should also feel the same way. Whatever their age, it's vital that when setting down the the rules of the house, your kid comprehends there is no room for questioning the rules you set down and the consequences of ignoring the rules.

Younger children usually cannot comprehend a very long explanation of why it matters that they be back home from their pal’s house at a certain time or why they are forbidden to play ball in the house. But the one thing they do try their best to do most of the time is to make their mom and dad happy and proud. So when your young daughter or son says “Why or "Why not?" when they are told they can't play with someone or something or why they have to obey a rule you've set down, simply explain to them that "because it makes me really happy when you abide by the house rules and do what I have asked of you." You should steer clear of using the term, "Because I said so," as that only escalates the child's frustration and confusion.

Older children and teenagers will generally need more from your explanation. When they question "Why?" or "Why not?" it's always best to directly, honestly and clearly state your case. "I advised you to be home by 9.30 at 8.40am for your check-up and we must not be late." It is also an excellent chance for you to reiterate the outcome of breaking the rule. "If you are not back home by the stated time, you'll be grounded from going to your friend's house for 10 days." Be clear, be firm, be consistent.

Though your kid may challenge you by asking your logic why a rule has been put in place, it also shows their growth as an independent thinker. So do try not to get frustrated or angry when they do so; realize it's their way of understanding their world around them.

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